Clan Weaknesses

by WwTalikwW@aol.com

<Ventrue>

Okay folks. We have another problem. The "kids" want to know how we tell each other apart…what makes us unique.

<Toreador>

That’s easy…we are all unique…special..beautiful in our own way we–

<Brujah>

Shut the Hell up. He means like what separates CLANS you pantywaste.

<Malk>

Never waste panties…Too hard to find this time of year.

<Ventrue>

Yes Brujah. What makes us…fit into a Category. What makes us… CLAN.

<Brujah>

Yeah..just another way for the "man" to keep an eye on us.

<Malk>

What man?

<Brujah>

Shut up before I mash you kook.

<Ventrue>

::sighs:: Any suggestions?

<Toreador>

Signature clothing?

<Tremere>

Necklaces? Mystical pendants?

<Malk>

Cheese…Different cheeses assigned to each clan. There are different types to choose from, you know?

<Brujah>

::looks to Nosferatu:: Yeah..lemme guess who Limburger is….

<Nos>

I heard that.

<Ventrue>

I was thinking more along the lines… of a weakness… a… subtle flaw.

<Malk>

I call Kryptonite!!!

<Brujah>

::smashes him on the head:: Must have a Kyrptonite fist. SHUT UP.

<Malk>

Unnrk.

<Ventrue>

Okay… Brujah… yours will be your temper. For obvious reasons.

<Brujah>

TEMPER? WHAT TEMPER? …..fricking suits…. You’d be pissed too if you
had to sit next to Nos and Malk.

<Ventrue>

::coughs:: Torrie, since you love art…you will be known as the artist clan.

<Toreador>

Tragic… yet… beautiful. Agreed.

<Malk>

::small voice:: I still want Kryptonite.

<Brujah>

::SMACK:: Hehe. Temper… okay… cool.

<Malk>

Unnnggh.

<Nos>

::scratches his chin causing skin to flake off:: And my… flaw?

::silence::

<Ventrue>

::shivers:: We’ll get back to you. Gangrel. Yours will be… everytime you frenzy… you look more like an animal.

<Gangrel>

WHAT? What do you mean "you look more like an animal"?

<Ventrue>

It starts off small… you know… fur… deep voice… maybe horns….

<Gangrel>

WHAT??? Oh COME on… Torrie gets to moon over stupid drawings and I get a fricking BEAK? Yeah… that’s REAL fair… ::grumbles into a growl::

<Assamite>

And I?

<Tremere>

You can’t drink kindred blood…. ::laughs:: It’s poison. Your hair falls out and you look like him. ::points to Nos::

<Ventrue>

Agreed.

<Nos>

Still waiting.

::silence, Malk giggles::

<Assamite>

Why does TREMERE get to pick my weakness?

<Tremere>

Lump it pal.

<Ventrue>

Tremere… if Assamite can’t drink kindred blood… then you have to drink from… all of your elders.

<Malk>

No one got Kryptonite?

<Brujah>

::BAP:: Temper… LOVE it.

<Ventrue>

Lasombra… hmm… no reflection.

<Lasombra>

You should give THAT to Nos…..

<Nos>

Still waiting….

<Ventrue>

::coughs:: Be right with you Nos….. Is that acceptable Lasombra?

<Lasombra>

Yeah… but you guys have to tell me when I have something on my chin.

<Ventrue>

No problem…. Hmmm… Tzim…. You’re weakness… will be….

<Malk>

Having a clan name no one can say or spell?

<Ventrue>

Yes… er… no. You… must sleep… in your native soil… or have some in your coffin….

<Gangrel>

WHAT??? I get WEBBED TOES and she has to sleep in DIRT??

<Tzim>

Agreed.

<Gangrel>

I want a new one…..

<Nos>

Still waiting… have you forgotten me?

::silence::

<Ventrue>

Moving right along….. Giovanni… your Kiss hurts….. No pleasure in your bite.

<Toreador>

You can say THAT again….

::room looks to Torrie::

<Toreador>

Oh… sorry… was that out loud?

<Gio>

<vq> One off night… plagues you for your unlife…

<Ventrue>

Ravnos. You are a criminal by nature.

<Ravnos>

::gives back Ventrue’s wallet:: Sorry.

<Ventrue>

::blinks taking it:: Um… no. I meant…. ::shakes head:: Oookay. The money too….

<Ravnos>

Oh… here… sorry.

<Nos>

When do I get one?

<Brujah>

<vq> At birth….

::stiffled laughter::

<Ventrue>

Ahem…. You, over there…. Setite… yours is… you don’t like the light….

<Gangrel>

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?? I get a set of BAT wings and he doesn’t like bright lights??

<Malk>

Fly, my little monkeys… fllllyyyyy….

<Brujah>

::raises hand and Malk winces::

<Set>

::grins:: Agreed… fair and just. ::winks::

<Gangrel>

::points:: He WINKED!! You two had A DEAL SET UP?? …..God DAMN snakes……

<Nos>

If you continuing ignoring me… I will get UGLY.

<Malk>

Too late….

::stiffled laughter::

<Ventrue>

Am I missing anyone?

<Malk>

Do I get Kryptonite?

<Tzim>

You, little man, have ENOUGH problems… you don’t need an additional flaw.

<Ventrue>

Then it is settled….

<Nos>

You have forgotten yourself… and I.

<Brujah>

Yeah, Mr. Picky. What is YOUR flaw?

<Ventrue>

::smiles:: I am picky… about… what I eat….

<Gangrel>

::stands up, throwing chair back:: I am LEAVING!! ::pointing around the room:: I get udders like a fucking COW and YOU get to sleep in DIRT? YOU are a fussy eater? YOU get to look at art? YOU… ::finger stops on Nos:: …okay… I guess it could be worse.

<Nos>

I get it. I am the unflawed clan… gotcha.

<Brujah>

::laughs:: Yup… that’s it….

<Ventrue>

::coughs:: Meeting adjourned.

<Malk>

::leaving, very quietly singing:: You… oogly… you oogly… and yer mama dresses you foooney… you oogly… you oogly….

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